There are many wonderful experiences in mothering the child with ADHD. (see here for the many positives of ADHD). Raising these children challenges us to think outside the box, stretch ourselves intellectual, emotionally, physically and spiritually. Many of us go from being shy, or quiet, to actively advocating for our children in ways that we never thought we could.
Shift ADHD Focus From the ADHD Child to the Mom!
When there is an ADHD child in the family, the majority of focus is on that child, and managing the most troublesome ADHD traits. Little, to no attention, is given to the mother, who works tirelessly, and often alone, to find the help her child needs. Mothers of ADDers lack much needed understanding and support. It is time to shift some of that focus away from the child and on to the Moms of the ADHD children, the unsung heroes of parenting. Today, I’m looking at the raw reality of the ADHD experience from the mother’s perspective. I do not mean to imply this is the experience of all mothers of ADHD children. However, from my 25+ years of cumulative experience as a social worker, medical psychotherapist, and now lifecoach, specializing in ADHD, I believe challenging parenting experiences are more common among mothers of ADHD children, than among their peers without children with ADHD.
What Can You Do for the Mother of an ADHD Child?
My intention is to give all those who consider themselves part of an ADHD child’s support team, a moment to pause, and reflect on what their part is in the ADDers mother’s experience. Once you have done so, please ask that mother what their experience of your support is, and what you can do to expand your supportive role. When they tell you, please listen with an open heart and mind, free of defensiveness and judgment. Remember, whatever the mom tells you, it is her reality and, as a team member, it is your job to respect it by providing whatever additional, reasonable support she asks of you, to the best of your ability, not just today, but everyday going forward!